Kate Spade was one of the savviest business women of our time. She broke barriers and paved the way for women everywhere. She was an icon. She was worth millions, and yet, even with all of the fame, fortune and notoriety, she still found no reason to live. As outsiders looking into the life of Kate Spade, you would think she was living her best life. I mean, what more could a woman of her stature want or need? Kate Spade’s suicide is yet another example of how money cannot buy happiness and how mental illness does not discriminate. Her public manifestation of death is another reminder on how looks can be deceiving.
It’s funny you know. Many of us would kill to get to the level of a Kate Spade. We go through life as gunners, doing everything that we can to make sure that we get on top. However, with the slew of celebrity suicides, it is safe to say that it gets lonely at the top. There is a level of self-sacrifice that one must give in order to reach such high peaks of greatness, and sometimes that sacrifice is one’s own mental health. I’ve said this before in past posts and I will say it again. The pressures in these streets are real. Mental illness knows no socioeconomic class, it does not discriminate. Most of us are one crisis away from wanting to kill ourselves and we may not even know it.
I truly believe that women have it the worse. Our pressures are unparalleled. And now, thanks to social media, I would say our levels of anxiety have been exacerbated. I am always saddened to hear when someone takes their life. Suicide is a public manifestation of death. People who commit suicide are dead long before they actually take their lives. Kate Spade was dead long before she hung herself. Without knowing her personally, I can say that she was dead inside. She was empty. Despite having a husband and child, she was lonely. Despite having fame and fortune, she may have felt like she wasn’t enough. How can I make such speculations? Well, I have been there. I believe many of us have, whether we want to admit it or not. I believe that you all have had these thoughts. I can honestly say that if it were not for my Christian beliefs, my faith in God, I could have easily taken my life a long time ago.
As I sit back and read all of the articles relating to Kate Spade’s suicide and see all of the meme’s with sayings like “check on your strong sister”, “check on your strong friend”, “suicide is not the answer”. It makes me wonder how serious we are we about helping our fellow man. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that we are acknowledging that we need to do better, but will we truly do better? When the news of Kate Spade’s death fades away from page six 6, will you still be compelled to check on that “strong friend”? Will you still be concerned? Will it even be a thing? Or was this all for the “gram”?
In no way am I throwing shade to those who are posting these meme’s. But you cannot argue that we are a “bandwagon” society. People are fake concerned on social media. Meanwhile, in real life, some of these people couldn’t care less, they take no position on any social issues, and in fact, they aren’t even aware of the state of their own society. But for the “gram”, these people are savants; they are cultural relativists, universalists, they are community activists etc. But suicide is serious. Mental health awareness is critical. I am genuinely concerned about society and the things that motivate and captivate us. The band wagons are strong. But in order to truly to better we need to move away from this mentality and start being “day ones”.
For those of you who may be reading this and wondering to yourself “is she OK?” This post is not a secret cry for help. But it is friendly reminder that things are not always how they appear. We all need help. But we need to stop talking about how we all need help and actually get help. We need to be more open and honest with each other. There is nothing wrong with getting help and there is nothing wrong with telling people that you are getting help. Your story may be just what someone else needs to get their life together. Your story may just save a life.
Suicide is not the way out. But to someone who is suffering from depression, it is the ONLY way out. It is the only way out of a world that makes them feel low, despite their highs. It is the only way out of a world that makes them feel worthless, despite having immense wealth. You all just do not understand what can go on in one’s mind. The thoughts, the emptiness that is felt deep in one’s soul… My skin crawls as I write this because I know. We need to do better. We are each other’s keeper. It is not easy trust me, because I find people to be rather strange (joking not joking). However, we have to do it or else, we are going to keep losing amazing people.
THE ANTI-SOCIAL SOCIALITE 
This was very insightful and an eye opener! Thanks for shedding light on this in a world of amnesia. 😑 What are some questions to ask our strong sista? Sometimes we don’t know when enough is enough bc we have our cape on 24/7.
Thank you Shansharee for your comment! I think it’s more about being observant and being genuine with people. Making sure that you are a trustworthy friend. Someone that a friend can rely on. If you actually pay attention to your loved ones, no matter how hard they try to mask the issues, you will notice when things are off. If we take the time to build that relationship, your questions will not come out of no where. Maybe you won’t even have to ask questions because your friend will feel comfortable enough to discuss issues with you. People don’t share for several reasons. 1. They feel that people do not care and 2. Or people won’t understand what they are going through, or 3. They are ashamed to even feel the way that they do, 4. They do not want to be a burden to others. All of these points have one thing in common, somewhere along the line trust and acceptance was not established in the relationship. We have to do better to let each other know that we actually care for real and not for fake and that we truly matter to each other.